"What I've Learned" by Dwight K. Schrute (stolen from the Esquire website)...
You cannot buy farmers at a farmer's market. It's super-confusing.
Look people in the eye. Unless they have enormous breasts.
The best way to skin a badger is very carefully. Ha ha. That's an old one. But seriously, you're going to need several paring knives and two buckets. One filled with warm water.
Beets are a dish best served cold. Like coleslaw.
I am loyal to a fault. But when the one I am loyal to starts suspecting me, I have no choice but to take him out. The secret mission is incredibly important.
I believe in hunting, but only if you use the entire animal. For instance, instead of a comb I use the rib cage of a squirrel.
To me, success is simply the opposite of failure.
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