NOT Scary.

Lavs and I have been watching a LOT of basketball over the past 2 days. (It's March Madness - aka The Greatest Sporting Event Other Than The Olympics Ever Created - for the few of you who don't know.) A side perk to watching all these teams? Learning some new Mascots! And we have decided that so many of them are funny, rather than intimidating - which, really, every mascot should aspire to be in my opinion...

Here are my vote for the worst mascots of the tourney:

The Akron Zips - apparently the "Zips" nickname was shortened from the Zippers a ways back. And no, they weren't named after the zipper on a pair of pants, but rather a type of rubber shoe from the 20's. I don't know, it's weird. Weirder still? The Zips mascot is a kangaroo. We are pretty sure the kangaroo came in 2nd in the mascot vote, and they couldn't figure out how to make a shoe costume.

Ohio State Buckeyes - The Buckeye is a tree nut. Their mascot, "Brutus Buckeye," is a giant, nut-shaped head wearing the school colors. LAME. Even lamer - or cooler, depending on your point of view - the costume used to be a FULL-BODY nut, with just the legs sticking out. That would have been awesome to see. Also, fun fact, apparently Brutus' costume was stolen in the early 2000's and they had to use the old costume. Although I saw no pics of this, so can't verify.

Indiana State Sycamores - A tree is never a good mascot (take note, Stanford). Never. Although, I will give it the edge in a contest between a tree and a NUT - at least a tree could cause serious damage if it fell through your roof?

Syracuse Orange - Okay, something even less terrifying than a nut (because, actually, now that I think about it? Many people have serious nut allergies) is a color! Seriously, Syracuse? Go

back to your old, racist, mascot - the "Saltine Warrior" (some sort of bizarre Indian mascot) because at least he carried a hatchet. Otto the Orange is fucking ridiculous. He looks like a hairy beach ball in a stripey hat (see picture).

Long Island University Blackbirds - Um, there is a Beatles' song about you. And it's pretty. NOT scary.

Boston University AND Wofford Terriers - Even worse than the Scotties (sorry, P). A terrier is in NO WAY intimidating. Cute? Sure. Yappy? Definitely. WHY THE HELL DO 2 SCHOOLS HAVE THIS MASCOT?!?!?!

Tennessee Volunteers - from what I can tell, they don't even have a costume. Couldn't they at least terrorize their opponents by masquerading as a Habit-For-Humanity worker and swing a giant hammer or something?

St. Peter's Peacocks - Now, my mother disagrees with me on this one - she happens to find peacocks terrifying. And I will admit, the ones that roam the Woodland Park Zoo do scare the crap out of me occasionally. But really, for a sports mascot? I mean what are they gonna do, blind you with the beauty of their feathers?